Can’t Run Away from Your Teachers

This is a little long winded, but a true story. There is a certain type of personality (reminds me of a family member) that can be harsh, judgmental, perfectionist, bossy, and critical (let me also add makes mountains out of mole hills and complains) that triggers a strong uncomfortable emotion in me. I had a coworker that I would see day in and day out that had this personality. We had a fall out and the tension between us with immense. I prayed and meditated, but still the tension persisted. I was so uncomfortable that I left that site and transferred to another site, hoping my coworkers would be easier to get along with. Yes, overall, my coworkers were pleasing, but, low and behold, the person I would work with day and day out, had the same type of temperament as the person before. But, now the students I worked with demonstrated the same behavior. I had students who would cursed at me daily. I lasted a year. I tried another site and low and behold same kind of temperament, personality, but just a different face. I realized this is something I had to work through and it was not going away. Everywhere I went I came across a person who was super judgmental, grumpy, bossy, critical, complains, and a perfectionist (meaning they did things really well , a certain way, and that is the way everyone should do it). I asked for my transfer back to the original site. I asked for the transfer in May and knew that I had 3 months to start working through this and prepare. I contacted a good friend and mentor. Daily, we would meditate and journal about things that were getting in my way of serenity. I started meditating more, praying (mantras), sessions, and transfer. Meditate, pray, and transfer. Meditate, pray, and transfer. I started work and it was rough. I am the supervisor of this person and the power struggle began. But, this time I yielded and when needed, set a boundary with kindness. I also meditated on, “Listen, do not react. No need to respond. When appropriate ask, ‘What do you need?” It took 3 months until there was a breakthrough, a relief. It is not perfect, but much better. The coworker and I go on regular hikes on a mountain behind our school, often share vegetarian lunches we bring from home, and there is a fostering sense of ease between us. I still continue to transfer merit. Maybe it is my imagination, but there are times I forget to transfer merit and the day is not as smooth. It is as if it gets hooked or snagged on things. I will continue to transfer merit. The bits of freedom (me not reacting no matter who is there and what is said) I have experienced are worth the effort.