Reversing anger

In the midst of a separation from my husband, a lot of confusing emotions arise. I have found that practicing kindness towards helps to keep my heart open and my mind clear, even during this very difficult time. Two recent examples: First, while sitting a one-day retreat, the teacher instructed us to practice compassion towards someone who was suffering. Instantly–and surprisingly–my husband popped into my mind while I was meditating. He and I had been arguing a lot at the time, and I could tell that much of his anger was coming from deep suffering. So I directed metta towards him, and it softened my heart and brought up feelings of love and compassion that had been hard to access because of all of our arguing. Then, more recently, I was in a store and passed by something that I knew he would like. Although I initially thought I wouldn’t buy it for him (we are separating, after all!), I decided to act on the spontaneous inclination towards generosity that had arisen in my mind. So I bought it for him, unsure of how he would receive it. He left me a simple thank-you note, and that genuine connection made me very happy.

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