Not sure if it counts

I’m not sure if it counts as a good ‘deed’, but there was a girl who I, for a while, had a bit of a thing for and acted flirtatiously towards, but in a bit of a moody way, I changed. I no longer felt attracted to her at all and rather rudely I basically ceased all communication with her, I only met with her on occasion through a youth program. I know she got over it, she saw other guys and seemed fine. But I felt like I had used her. So the other day, through the convenience of the world wide web, I began chatting to her again and apologised. As it turns out, I don’t think she even remembered. I asked her if she thought I had ever acted like a tool to her, and she said no. So I felt better about it and I imagine she went on with her life. So I’m not sure if that qualifies as a good deed as I’m not sure I helped anybody but myself to feel better. But I’m not actually sending this to add to my music library (as nice as your music is! [I first heard you on Stanford’s Spirituality and Religion iTunes download]) but more to get in contact with you.About a year ago, as a Christian, I began to seek ecumenical peace through understanding, so I began to research the religions of the world. Buddhism had always appealed to me, so I began to research it first. I still am. I’m not sure one can ever be ‘done’ exploring a religion, but I have to start somewhere. Eventually I began to lose my faith in the judgemental God of Christianity in favour of…I’m not even sure what yet (after reading up on Krishnamurti, I liked his non-adherence to any religion in particular). Now, being whatever I am, I think I’ll just say I’m Geoff Bonning, I feel the need for guidance both in my quest for knowledge and spiritually. I have many questions pertaining to both of these to ask somebody knowledgeable in all aspects of your religion and in spiritual development.I would like to say here that I do feel selfish and as though I am abusing your gift economy exchange here, but the Dalai Lama does not respond on his Twitter account and my questions are dividing me. I feel as though there are two ideals that, though they used to conflict I have tamed them to live semi-harmoniously. I feel as though there are two sides to me, one driven by passion and ambition and the other by an absolute disconnection from desire.Unfortunately I cannot yet donate to your programs, but your response would be greatly appreciated. :)Peace be with you,Geoffrey Bonning